How D'Angelo Made Me Open to Falling In Love Again

You would have to really know me to understand this. Since most of you don’t really know me I’m going to do my best to give you a glimpse of me. I’ve been described as oxymoronic, mysterious, emotionless, emotional, serious, silly, fearless, unique and odd. I’m a lot of things wrapped up in one woman.  However, one thing I wouldn’t be described as is a woman looking for love. For a long time now I’ve been Ms. Go With the Flow. Ms. I Just Want to Enjoy Life. My Only Child Style personality would often scoff at the thought of sharing my space with another human being all the time. Sometimes = yeah. All the time = panic. I think I even began subconsciously picking people who I ultimately knew would not work out as “All the Time”. You know, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. Mr. Doesn’t Quite Have it Together Yet, Mr. We’re At Different Stages of Life Right Now and my all-time favorite, Mr. Wounded Bird. If it looked like it could be—forever-ever I internally freaked out. I’m a self-proclaimed “Avid Seeker of Freedom”. I try to love everyone but that relationship type love was not on my freedom seeking radar.

Then a few Sundays back I happened to glance through Instagram and I saw several people post that D’Angelo would be dropping his album “Black Messiah” at midnight. Saaay Whu? My initial thought was--

To Whom Will You Be Giving Your $$ This Holiday Season?

“Black Friday” is looming around the corner which means the holiday season is about to officially be upon us. But here’s my angle. While we’re preparing to be jolly, deck the halls and jingle bells, I just want to check in with everyone to see how much of these tidings of great joy are going back into our communities. This is not going to be one of those finger-pointing, condemnation pieces. I don’t operate in that zone. So let’s just call it a memo to Black America or a call to attention.

Sometime over the next few weeks I will do what I guess you could call my version of holiday shopping. It will occur at three of my favorite Black owned businesses that I frequent throughout the year. As usual, I will buy books written for Black children as Kwanzaa gifts plus a few essential items for myself. That’s it for me. I understand that many who have small children go all out in the realm of purchasing gifts. So my question is during all this holiday spending what percentage is going back to the community? As a matter of fact, what percentage of your annual spending do you feel has gone back to the Black community? Is it 20%, 10%, 2.5%, 0? Are you familiar with Black owned businesses in your area? What about service providers such as doctors, mechanics, repair men/women? If you drop change into the Salvation Army bucket on your way out of Wal-Mart do you drop a little dough into the pot for the organizations in your area that cater directly to the needs of our communities? How about any of those programs and events that you oh so fervently “like” and retweet online? I bet a nice Paypal contribution would bring some serious joy to their world. Social media has definitely solidified its place in the movement but virtual activism will never supersede real life actions and contributions.

See, Black Enterprise says that the Black spending power is estimated to reach $1.2 trillion dollars by

It's Definitely The Black Woman's Fault

I have a friend named Danny. He recently got divorced and is in the middle of an intense custody battle for his twin boys. Danny is hard-working. Honestly, I don’t know what kind of husband he was but I do know he is a dedicated father. I know he is hurting as a result of the distance between himself and his sons and I also know he has developed a scathing resentment towards ALL Black women…

I had to stop communicating with Danny for a while because almost every conversation or text was filled with “See, the problem is that the Black woman doesn’t…” or “The Black woman always…” or the Black woman never…” I mean if it got cold outside “The Black woman” caused it. If I tried to make Danny see that he was doing some serious generalizing and that he was being extremely unfair he would dismiss it as me being insensitive to the plight of the Black man. I was 

When We Know Better…

If you know me personally or keep up with me online then you know that working with children is

one of the major parts of my life. I talk a lot about how much I love them, the lessons I teach them and the lessons they teach me. I could go on for hours about this but I won’t bore you that way. What I will do is address something that has been weighing heavily on my mind for a while now. I am extremely concerned about what is being fed to so many of our youth. Usually, if I say something like that I’m speaking in a psychological or spiritual capacity but right now I literally mean what is being put into their bellies. I am noticing a pattern of unhealthiness that is most alarming and could have negative long-term effects.

LIFE

The older I get the less judgmental I become. It’s still hard for me to wrap my head around the harm people do to others but I do have a better understanding. LIFE. Life is interesting to say the least. It is complicated. Yet it can be very simple at times. It is intricate, fragile, tough and cumulative yet we are given the ability to start anew—somewhat. It’s riddled with unfairness but sometimes the good guys win and karma reigns supreme. We experience some of the most exuberant highs muddled in with some soul-jarring lows. Many of us maneuver between the highs and lows on cruise-control. Is cruise-control good or bad? I mean it can assure that we won’t receive any citations. It’s safe. It may even be the more sensible mode of operation. But, it does not allow us to FEEL. That feeling when you push beyond the limit that society, family, friends or maybe even you imposed upon yourself. That feeling of control when it is your own foot on the gas maneuvering the 2 ton vehicle that is taking you to your next destination. Me, I drive a 5 speed and I put the pedal to the medal bruh. However, that doesn’t always transfer over to my LIFE. I guess it can’t at all times but I think it should happen more often than it does. But then life involves FEAR. You know that learned behavior that causes you to remain in cruise-control. Fear caused by past hurts and 

Analog Girl…

So I recently took a break from social media. I also attempted to take a break or at least cut back

exponentially on my cell phone usage. That second attempt didn’t really go as planned but attempt #1 was awesome. I’m not the type to announce a social media hiatus. I’m more the type to laugh or even scoff at the fact that there are social media hiatuses to be taken and that they may require announcing. See, I am still an analog girl trapped in a digital world. Everyone who rocked hard to “Mama’s Gun” about 14 years ago knows exactly what I’m speaking of. I felt I identified with Erykah’s phrase back then but I feel it now more than ever. We’ve become soooo digital and sorry, I am quite the opposite of a techie. If we could take it back to the technology of somewhere between 1989-1993 I’d be just fine. So Erykah, while I love this phrase you coined, I am inclined to believe that as the years have gone by it probably applies to me more than you. I am slightly upset that I didn’t come up with it myself. But I thank you for it and now I will attempt to convey the depths of my struggles with social media and technology at large.

My social media usage has dwindled considerably for quite some time now. Most people don’t know it but I’m somewhat of a loner. Social media begins to feel crowded and suffocating to me. The thought of sharing my every move and mood with the world can be very unsettling to me. But then I have those days, possibly even weeks in which I’m like---“Heeeey, here’s what I’m doing!”  But as of late you would 

The Results Are In!

Posted on April 1, 2014

CCIA’s 4th Annual Youth Book Drive: Over the last four years we have placed over 600 brand new, culturally inclusive books into eight local Title I elementary schools. Thanks to the help of our local and extended Village this project has become a gift that will benefit countless youth for years to come. We buy the books locally. We promote literacy, positive self-esteem and cultural awareness. We also emphasize community involvement. If we can come together and make this happen; we can come together and do the same for so many other issues that need to be addressed. THANK YOU to ALL who have supported this project! We can’t wait until year five!!