How D'Angelo Made Me Open to Falling In Love Again

You would have to really know me to understand this. Since most of you don’t really know me I’m going to do my best to give you a glimpse of me. I’ve been described as oxymoronic, mysterious, emotionless, emotional, serious, silly, fearless, unique and odd. I’m a lot of things wrapped up in one woman.  However, one thing I wouldn’t be described as is a woman looking for love. For a long time now I’ve been Ms. Go With the Flow. Ms. I Just Want to Enjoy Life. My Only Child Style personality would often scoff at the thought of sharing my space with another human being all the time. Sometimes = yeah. All the time = panic. I think I even began subconsciously picking people who I ultimately knew would not work out as “All the Time”. You know, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. Mr. Doesn’t Quite Have it Together Yet, Mr. We’re At Different Stages of Life Right Now and my all-time favorite, Mr. Wounded Bird. If it looked like it could be—forever-ever I internally freaked out. I’m a self-proclaimed “Avid Seeker of Freedom”. I try to love everyone but that relationship type love was not on my freedom seeking radar.

Then a few Sundays back I happened to glance through Instagram and I saw several people post that D’Angelo would be dropping his album “Black Messiah” at midnight. Saaay Whu? My initial thought was--

This can’t be real. This was one of those things I’ve wished would happen so many times that I had to brace myself for disappointment. Wait, this was real though. They weren’t lying. That night I texted my friend and he said he was copping it first thing in the morning. The next morning he reports he’s got it and will give me the verdict soon. I waited anxiously at work. By late afternoon he gave it the greenlight. Certified hot fiya! So I got home and had to hear for myself.  I went through a musically induced state of euphoria as I listened to each track. There was 2000 Voodoo and now this is Voodoo squared. The music is raw and real. This comeback is sincere and far from contrived. Rather than try to pander to the played out radio, D’Angelo slid back into his rightful place. He filled a void and reset a musical standard. On the first track he cemented the fact that I and everyone listening is a loyal fan who will not be leaving him. He went on to provide some protest music. He weighed in on current times. He told us how he was in really love. I listened without stopping. But then Track #12 happened. I was presented with “Another Life”. Dammit.

I began to remember love. The type of love I respect and value when I see it through others but that I never give much thought about for myself. But I really began to remember what being in love felt like. I found a soundtrack for what I think love should feel like for me. It was strong. It was genuine. It flowed freely. It wasn’t restrictive but it was clearly stated. Front free. Soul-jarring. Beautiful. Melodic. Bold. Assertive. Humble. Its chords pierced through my system and made me think little fu-fu thoughts like this. It was a melody I wouldn’t mind having played for me and that I wouldn’t mind singing along to. As a matter of fact it made me want to dance a way I haven’t wanted to in a while. You know that, I’m wrapped all up in your arms type dance. I mean I know love is complicated. I’m not delusional. Trust me I’ve lived and I’m too grown to completely change overnight. But this man and his song inspired me to be more open to the idea of not just love, but being in love. Lauryn told us a long time ago that music is supposed to inspire and that’s exactly what “Black Messiah” has done for me on so many levels.

I sincerely thank D’Angelo and some phenomenal Black man will be thanking him at some point. This album is epic. It’s creation music. Whether it’s babies, art, food, love or revolution you will be inspired to produce. I spit some ill freestyles over my favorite track and I ain’t even an emcee.  I mean I’m still in no rush but this art has literally unlocked a closed off piece of my being and that my friends, is my definition of true soul music…Go Buy It!