So I recently took a break from social media. I also
attempted to take a break or at least cut back
exponentially on my cell phone
usage. That second attempt didn’t really go as planned but attempt #1 was
awesome. I’m not the type to announce a social media hiatus. I’m more the type
to laugh or even scoff at the fact that there are social media hiatuses to be
taken and that they may require announcing. See, I am still an analog girl
trapped in a digital world. Everyone who rocked hard to “Mama’s Gun” about 14
years ago knows exactly what I’m speaking of. I felt I identified with Erykah’s
phrase back then but I feel it now more than ever. We’ve become soooo digital
and sorry, I am quite the opposite of a techie. If we could take it back to the
technology of somewhere between 1989-1993 I’d be just fine. So Erykah, while I
love this phrase you coined, I am inclined to believe that as the years have
gone by it probably applies to me more than you. I am slightly upset that I
didn’t come up with it myself. But I thank you for it and now I will attempt to
convey the depths of my struggles with social media and technology at large.
My social media usage has dwindled considerably for quite
some time now. Most people don’t know it but I’m somewhat of a loner. Social media begins
to feel crowded and suffocating to me. The thought of sharing my every move and
mood with the world can be very unsettling to me. But then I have those days,
possibly even weeks in which I’m like---“Heeeey, here’s what I’m doing!” But as of late you would
CCIA’s 4th Annual Youth Book Drive: Over the last four years we have placed over 600 brand new, culturally inclusive books into eight local Title I elementary schools. Thanks to the help of our local and extended Village this project has become a gift that will benefit countless youth for years to come. We buy the books locally. We promote literacy, positive self-esteem and cultural awareness. We also emphasize community involvement. If we can come together and make this happen; we can come together and do the same for so many other issues that need to be addressed. THANK YOU to ALL who have supported this project! We can’t wait until year five!!
This video was done after we realized we exceeded our goal for our 4th Annual Black History Month Youth Book Drive. Massive technical difficulties aside, I had to post this because we are HAPPY!!! A tremendous THANK YOU to everyone who donated to the drive this year and all years. I truly felt the love. WE(The Village)DID IT!! I am so proud of us. We all should be HAPPY because the babies at Seatack and Jacox elementary schools are going to be blessed with a plethora of books that have characters and storylines in which they can see themselves on Friday, March 7th!! Look out for that video by the end of March. #Literacy #PositiveSelfEsteem #CulturalAwareness #Books4theBabies
I ask that you take a brief journey back in time with me. I do this often. I call it “time traveling”. I usually do it alone but today I need your accompaniment. Since you’re new to this I won’t even take you back too far. Close your eyes and let’s go back to April 29, 1992. The location is Los Angeles, California. The country is anxiously awaiting the verdict on the trial of the four officers we witnessed savagely beat 26 year old, unarmed, Rodney King on camera after he led them on a high speed chase. The world saw it on camera so it’s just a matter of how much time they will get. Keep your eyes closed. The verdict is about to be read. “Not guilty”. Gasp. Black America is in a state of shock, outrage and slight disbelief. The mood is explosive, literally explosive. Blacks and Latinos begin to take their anger to the streets. There’s been a culmination of anger and frustration over repeated episodes of police brutality against people of color. Now the people have had enough. Fire, brimstone, misguided but undeniable and many argue justifiable rage unleashes itself in the form of the now infamous “Rodney King Riot” which lasted for almost an entire week. If we traveled further into the past we could revisit Chicago, Detroit, D.C., Newark and Baltimore to witness the riots that occurred as a result of racial tension, the assassination of revered leaders and repeated police brutality. The temperature gage of the people was blistering hot.
Fast forward to 2012 Trayvon, Jordan and two 17 year old,
unarmed, Black male youth were
It’s my birthday(2/11)! I just got back from Vegas last night. Had a great time but before I crashed I had to record this special message. I appreciate you taking the time to check it out and if you take the time to honor my request I will appreciate you even more. Thanks so much for making this a happy and most productive birthday for me.
It’s our favorite time of the year again! No, I’m not referring to tax season, the Super Bowl or those ever-delicious Girl Scout Cookies. It is time for Clever Communities in Action’s(CCIA) 4th annual Black History Month Youth Book Drive!! Yes, it’s a very long title but it happens to have a very long reaching mission. To date CCIA has raised over $5,000 and put over 500 brand new books written for African-American youth into six Title I elementary schools thanks to the help of some most generous donors from across the country. Our goal is to promote literacy, positive self-esteem and cultural awareness.
We accept donations Feb 1st -March 1st. Book delivery occurs in mid-March and footage will be available by the end of March. We want you to see where your donations went and we want you to be able to share that warm and fuzzy feeling we get when we see the babies get so exited about these literary gems. Payments can be made via the “Donate: button on cleverspeaks.com or the Clever Communities in Action Facebook page. Payments are processed securely through paypal. If you are interested in making off-line donations please email us at donations@clevercommunities.org or call 757.918.7879. We are working hard to reach our $2,000 goal this year so please consider making a donation and liking, sharing, forwarding and tweeting this info with your friends and social media network.
A tremendous THANK YOUto ALL who help make this a successful endeavor!!
I’ve been pushed again. Had to bring it back to the keyboards. So let me just put it all out there in the beginning. Straight no chasers. I am a single, Black woman, over 30 with no children. I can hear the collective gasps through my computer screen. Now come the assumptions. Then comes the questions and accusations. Somebody is reading this and thinking they wish they could hook me up with their cousin Junebug. Oh I know. I know it all too well because I’ve been updating this same blog for several years now. There went another assumption. Yup. I telepathically read your mind. But here’s the funny part. We get pumped with all this propaganda and statistics about how most Black women will remain single. If I had a 27 cent for every time somebody says most Black men are in prison, dead, juggling women/baby’s mamas or with white women I’m certain I could treat myself to something very nice. But if y’all believe that hype why are you so mesmerized and at times judgmental at the sight of us single ladies? Can we live?
I would like to remind folks that people are living longer
and a significant amount are settling down later in life. I can’t say whether
that is by choice or by circumstance but it’s happening. There are even
statistics to back those claims but they aren’t nearly as interesting as the
“Dear Black Women You Are Destined for Doom” proclamations. I mean the doom
stats seem to spark desperation,mass
One thing that really annoys me is to be misrepresented. You do not have to agree with my position but do not skew, minimize or alter what I stand for. This leads me to wonder how Dr. King would feel if he were able to witness his legacy as it stands today. If you ask children who he was many will reply “He had a dream”. Many adults will reply the same. Sprinkle in a little bit of he fought for civil rights, marched and led boycotts and of course he was non-violent and there you have it. That’s MLK in a nutshell. My inner history buff takes issue with such a safe and crafted synopsis. Whether you agree with how this man fought for justice one thing cannot be denied. He was brave as hell. But one thing we tend to forget is that in the midst of such bravery he was human. He had a family which
he loved. He second guessed himself at times. He was afraid at times. His views began to
Happy New Year Friends! Most of us got to enjoy some valuable time off work during the holiday season. Some are lucky enough to just be heading back today while others are already back in the groove. I had a wonderful time visiting my family and friends but while I was out of town there was a question looming in the back of my mind. What am I going to write for my first blog of the year? I started out with the intent of discussing your new year’s resolutions and whether or not they’re changing and progressing. But then I figured that was just too common and predictable. Blah. Y’all deserve better. So, I decided the best thing I have to give you to start 2014 off right is ME. Well, at least a glimpse inside of my innermost thoughts and desires. I decided to share with you what matters most to me in hopes that kindred spirits will relate and some sleepwalkers will awaken. There is one thing that I long for more than anything else in the world. I dream of it. I work hard to obtain it and I’m not sure that I could keep going if I ever began to feel it wasn’t attainable…
This year CCIA donated over 100 new books to two local elementary schools. Thanks to all the support from our generous donors these school’s libraries are now equipped with culturally inclusive literature. Check out the footage below!
We are excited to announce the beginning of our 3rd Annual Black History Month Youth Book Drive. Over the last two years we have raised over $3,000.00 and put over 300 books written specifically for Black youth into four elementary schools. With the help of dedicated “Villagers” from across the country we have been able to promote literacy, positive self-esteem and cultural awareness in our youth. We raise funds throughout February and deliver the books in March. This year our goal is to purchase at least 200 books as well as raise money to help Clever Communities In Action expand its abilities to positively affect the lives of our youth.
There is nothing like seeing the excitement on the faces of our children when we deliver them to the schools. There is also a strong sense of community and pride in knowing that this project continues to be successful as a result of the generosity and concern of a lot of different people. It truly takes a village to create the outcomes we wish to see in our youth and to provide them with the supplemental tools they need for a well-rounded education.
DONATING IS EASY AS CLICKING THE LINK BELOW: A sincere THANK YOU to all of our continued supporters and to our new ones. Let’s make it happen even bigger in 2013!!!
Number one: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
My thoughts to that used to be, why on earth do I want to reach near death(literally or figuratively) in order to learn any lesson?? Well, I still don’t but I will admit this. All trials that I have gone through gave me a better perspective on life’s journey. They helped me understand myself even better. They allowed me to evaluate how I react to certain
This year CCIA donated over 100 new books to two local elementary schools. Thanks to all the support from our generous donors these school’s libraries are now equipped with culturally inclusive literature. Check out the footage below!
We are excited to announce the beginning of our 3rdAnnual Black History Month Youth Book Drive. Over the last two years we have raised over $3,000.00 and put over 300 books written specifically for Black youth into four elementary schools. With the help of dedicated “Villagers” from across the country we have been able to promote literacy, positive self-esteem and cultural awareness in our youth. We raise funds throughout February and deliver the books in March. This year our goal is to purchase at least 200 books as well as raise money to help Clever Communities In Action expand its abilities to positively affect the lives of our youth.
There is nothing like seeing the excitement on the faces of our children when we deliver them to the schools. There is also a strong sense of community and pride in knowing that this project continues to be successful as a result of the generosity and concern of a lot of different people. It truly takes a village to create the outcomes we wish to see in our youth and to provide them with the supplemental tools they need for a well-rounded education.
DONATING IS EASY AS CLICKING THE LINK BELOW: A sincere THANK YOU to all of our continued supporters and to our new ones. Let’s make it happen even bigger in 2013!!!
Number one: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
My thoughts to that used to be, why on earth do I want to reach near death(literally or figuratively) in order to learn any lesson?? Well, I still don’t but I will admit this. All trials that I have gone through gave me a better perspective on life’s journey. They helped me understand myself even better. They allowed me to evaluate how I react to certain
situations. For some, I am proud of my initial response. For others, I am doggedly determined that if I ever find myself there again I WILL come out on TOP. They have given me a stronger sense of preparedness for whatever life may bring my way. I enjoy the peaks but I know I can endure the valleys which leads me to the next…
Number two: The only person, place or thing I can control is my damn self
Sounds like common sense right? Well, I didn’t say I was Confucius. However, I am saying this. I used to be the one who wanted to save everyone. I would buy books, have long conversations, get upset, almost everything short of kicking in the door. I was determined that this person should understand the error of his or her ways. Hey, I’m trying to save you from destruction and regret. I’m trying to save YOU from karma.MY BAD. That is not possible. My desire to see someone change or do better will never override his or her desire or lack-there-of, to do the same. Nowadays, I may discuss it once but I realize I can love people from afar while letting them lead their own lives. Just as I have figured things out on my own, they will do the same. I also will not allow anyone’s destructive behavior to stop me from accomplishing my dreams. Relatives, friends, lovers, I will map out a safe distance between my concern, your behavior and my goals. I may put my feet in but no more diving head and heart first into someone else’s trials.
Number three: It’sNOTthat serious
Life is meant to be lived. It is meant to be enjoyed. Every encounter does not have to be a battle and every obstacle does not have to make you come undone. An unexpected bill pops up: Pay it. The girl in the drive-thru was rude: Shrug it off. Flat tire: Could’ve been a wreck. Tires are repairable. I am much slower to get angry than in the past. After dealing with my father suddenly becoming very ill, the rest of that stuff is small freaking potatoes. My father is better now and it put a lot of things into perspective so I appreciate the good even more. The sunshine, good food, family, friends, accomplishments, health; all of these things override the nasty attitude drive-thru girl. Life Is Good!
The last one I care to share: If you believe it and act on it, it will come
There’s a quote from Common that resonates deeply with me. He said “Nobody believed until I believed me.” There it is ladies and gentleman. If you don’t believe you can become a well-respected and sought after chef then why in the heck would I take your for more than a person who just likes to cook? If you don’t believe every woman needs to rock those clothes you designed then how are you going to convince me to buy them? If I didn’t know good and well that my inherent love for my people, my sincerity and 15 plus years of provable action made me qualified to be a Sister who you can count on to inform, inspire and empower our people and our youth then why on earth would you continue to rock with me? The confident belief that you CAN, and the actions that prove you DO, are what will propel you. But it starts with YOU.
So as we navigate through yet another year let’s look back on our lives without fear. We are stronger. I feel like Rocky running up those steps as I type this. Who’s to say we won’t stumble or maybe even fall along the way? The true testament is how we bounce back. If you are alive and reading this then guess what, you have bounced back! So give yourself credit and start working on those goals. We can knock them down one at a time. I believe in myself and I believe in you!
“Life, I wonder, will it take me under?” The answer is NO! Happy New Year Friends.
Ok if you know me or if you’re familiar with my writing then you know I ampretty darn optimistic when it comes to Black male/female relationships. I’m not one of the bitter ones. I’m not angry. I see the cup as half full and all that good stuff. I love Black men and I’ve been a strong proponent of the idea that we have more in common than we have differences. However, after actually analyzing the recent turn of events that have occurred between me and the brothers I’m beginning to ponder over this whole Venus/Mars theory and whether or not it holds more truth than I suspected.
Here’s the deal. I don’t get it fellas. I don’t know what you’re thinking. I have no clue as to why you do the things you do and why you respond to me in such mind-boggling manners. I have to admit that my girlfriends and I have shared quite a few simultaneous, head scratches, head shakes, what in the worlds and uncontrollable laughter as we discuss our suitors and pseudo-suitors. For brevity’s sake I will narrow the Millennium Men(who I encounter) down to two types. There’s the “Zero to 60”
brother a.ka. “Dr. Thirst” a.ka. “Mr. Ready to Pounce”. This is the guy who puts it all out there on first interaction. He has already mapped out our future and filled his Android calendar with all the outings of our new life together after one encounter. There are less extreme variations of this as well. He may not have already planned our wedding but say I just met him at the grocery and the first time he calls or texts he goes straight for the kill. There is no conversation. No laughter. No jokes. Just a lot of talk about what he thinks of me. The specific jargon varies depending on the type of brother. Conscious, rough around the edges, highly ed-u-ma-ca-ted, maaan it gets deep. But there lies the problem. Within my first 24 hours of talking to you it doesn’t need to get that deep. Please do not think men are excused from exhibiting the type of behavior that will make the opposite sex run the other way. I am quick on my feet and when I feel smothered, especially by someone whose middle name I don’t even know, I will do an Allyson Felix on you real fast. #watchmysmoke
Then there’s type #2. Let’s call him the Undecided or Scared to Make a Move brother. These guys pursue you as well but only short of asking you to go out. I know you may be thinking, hey Clever, it’s 2012. You seem pretty “liberated”. Why don’t you just ask him? Aaaah, but there is a reason my friends. There are actually several. I mean what if he’s crazy? What if I end up not enjoying myself and why in the sam hill would I want to spend time with a man who is too afraid to ask me to hang out? Yuck. See at least if he asks me then I won’t feel I brought the potential craziness upon myself. But most of all I’m still kind of old-school. I believe I should be pursued. Notice I didn’t say chased because if you’re chasing something it is running away from you. Brothers, if you throw the line out there and she doesn’t bite back you are chasing, not pursuing. If you continue to do that then you are the third type of guy who again for brevity’s sake I choose not discuss but we’ll just call him Mr. Worrisome as Hail. Anyway, you will not believe how many dates that never happened I’ve been on this year. Lol. Some of these guys are still fishing too. But it’s never gonna happen. The hinting at a date texts have now become a new source of humor for me.
So I don’t know where I fit within this conundrum. Some women may like the 0 to 60 action but I’m a happily single woman. I am not praying for a husband every night. No offense whatsoever to the sisters who are. I can dig it but this is MY venting piece and I don’t like when people come on too strongly and I don’t like indecisive men who appear to be so afraid of rejection that they fish around for me to ask them out. You should see the face I’m making right now. It’s a date not a marriage proposal. Geez. You know, I wake up happy in the morning and I go to bed feeling the same. So anybody coming into my mix right now needs to be someone whose I company I can enjoy and have lots of fun with. People have made it seem like that’s a bad word—fun. But I am single with no children and it’s how I feel. I get that relationships take effort and all that jazz but in the first 48 do I have to feel like I’m working hard with you? Of course I have standards. Of course there are things I will not accept but if a guy makes it past that initial, and I mean preliminary screening, all I am looking to do is enjoy the time. It seems the men now are thinking it through way too hard. Let’s just have a nice time. If you’re familiar with what I do then you know it gets real intense at times but at least I’m dealing with trying to bring about major change. Meeting up to hang out aint even that deep bruh. They are all so serious and I just want to have fun! If fun leads to someone becoming a regular part of my life then…cool. But when did it become this difficult? What part of the game is this? It seems to be all about extremes now. What happened to middle ground? Where is the middle ground guy who is unattached and has no agenda beyond laughing with me and is open to all that may or may not happen beyond there? I think I’m a pretty smart woman but as of now I need an interpreter because apparently I have no clue how to speak “man”!
I’m truly over all the negativity that is put on Black father’s. Rather than repeat the statistics or even take the time to refute them, I’m going to focus on the positive and on much of what I see and have experienced first-hand. Like to hear it? Well here it go! Happy Father Day to the brothers…
Join me and a distinguished panel of Black fathers including special guest DJ Bee of 103 Jamz as we discuss fatherhood in the Black community live on Ustream! The conversation goes down this Thursday, June 14, at 9pm. Yes, that is tonight. You will be able to type in questions to us as we discuss stereotypes, trials, triumphs and many other aspects of this important topic. You definitely don’t want to miss what the brothers have to say. It’s their turn to be heard.You can find further information in the video and my Ustream link is listed below. You can view it there or right here on cleverspeaks.com. Please be sure to share, tweet and forward this event to your family and friends!
Set your reminder for the event at the link below.
