It’s just like me to write a New Year blog on January 29th. The Aquarian desire for freedom to move at my own pace always reigns supreme. Besides, this year is nowhere near old and you probably didn’t feel like reading the thousands of “It’s 2013” blogs on January 1stso I’m actually right on time. I’m working on my wordiness so I’m going to try to get straight to the point here. Now that I have experienced over three decades of “new beginnings” I want to reflect on what that time has meant for me. Pardon me if I hit you with a few clichés. I hate clichés but man, some of them became undeniably real to me within the last few years.
Number one: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
My thoughts to that used to be, why on earth do I want to reach near death(literally or figuratively) in order to learn any lesson?? Well, I still don’t but I will admit this. All trials that I have gone through gave me a better perspective on life’s journey. They helped me understand myself even better. They allowed me to evaluate how I react to certain
This year CCIA donated over 100 new books to two local elementary schools. Thanks to all the support from our generous donors these school’s libraries are now equipped with culturally inclusive literature. Check out the footage below!
We are excited to announce the beginning of our 3rdAnnual Black History Month Youth Book Drive. Over the last two years we have raised over $3,000.00 and put over 300 books written specifically for Black youth into four elementary schools. With the help of dedicated “Villagers” from across the country we have been able to promote literacy, positive self-esteem and cultural awareness in our youth. We raise funds throughout February and deliver the books in March. This year our goal is to purchase at least 200 books as well as raise money to help Clever Communities In Action expand its abilities to positively affect the lives of our youth.
There is nothing like seeing the excitement on the faces of our children when we deliver them to the schools. There is also a strong sense of community and pride in knowing that this project continues to be successful as a result of the generosity and concern of a lot of different people. It truly takes a village to create the outcomes we wish to see in our youth and to provide them with the supplemental tools they need for a well-rounded education.
DONATING IS EASY AS CLICKING THE LINK BELOW: A sincere THANK YOU to all of our continued supporters and to our new ones. Let’s make it happen even bigger in 2013!!!
It’s just like me to write a New Year blog on January 29th. The Aquarian desire for freedom to move at my own pace always reigns supreme. Besides, this year is nowhere near old and you probably didn’t feel like reading the thousands of “It’s 2013” blogs on January 1stso I’m actually right on time. I’m working on my wordiness so I’m going to try to get straight to the point here. Now that I have experienced over three decades of “new beginnings” I want to reflect on what that time has meant for me. Pardon me if I hit you with a few clichés. I hate clichés but man, some of them became undeniably real to me within the last few years.
Number one: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
My thoughts to that used to be, why on earth do I want to reach near death(literally or figuratively) in order to learn any lesson?? Well, I still don’t but I will admit this. All trials that I have gone through gave me a better perspective on life’s journey. They helped me understand myself even better. They allowed me to evaluate how I react to certain
situations. For some, I am proud of my initial response. For others, I am doggedly determined that if I ever find myself there again I WILL come out on TOP. They have given me a stronger sense of preparedness for whatever life may bring my way. I enjoy the peaks but I know I can endure the valleys which leads me to the next…
Number two: The only person, place or thing I can control is my damn self
Sounds like common sense right? Well, I didn’t say I was Confucius. However, I am saying this. I used to be the one who wanted to save everyone. I would buy books, have long conversations, get upset, almost everything short of kicking in the door. I was determined that this person should understand the error of his or her ways. Hey, I’m trying to save you from destruction and regret. I’m trying to save YOU from karma.MY BAD. That is not possible. My desire to see someone change or do better will never override his or her desire or lack-there-of, to do the same. Nowadays, I may discuss it once but I realize I can love people from afar while letting them lead their own lives. Just as I have figured things out on my own, they will do the same. I also will not allow anyone’s destructive behavior to stop me from accomplishing my dreams. Relatives, friends, lovers, I will map out a safe distance between my concern, your behavior and my goals. I may put my feet in but no more diving head and heart first into someone else’s trials.
Number three: It’sNOTthat serious
Life is meant to be lived. It is meant to be enjoyed. Every encounter does not have to be a battle and every obstacle does not have to make you come undone. An unexpected bill pops up: Pay it. The girl in the drive-thru was rude: Shrug it off. Flat tire: Could’ve been a wreck. Tires are repairable. I am much slower to get angry than in the past. After dealing with my father suddenly becoming very ill, the rest of that stuff is small freaking potatoes. My father is better now and it put a lot of things into perspective so I appreciate the good even more. The sunshine, good food, family, friends, accomplishments, health; all of these things override the nasty attitude drive-thru girl. Life Is Good!
The last one I care to share: If you believe it and act on it, it will come
There’s a quote from Common that resonates deeply with me. He said “Nobody believed until I believed me.” There it is ladies and gentleman. If you don’t believe you can become a well-respected and sought after chef then why in the heck would I take your for more than a person who just likes to cook? If you don’t believe every woman needs to rock those clothes you designed then how are you going to convince me to buy them? If I didn’t know good and well that my inherent love for my people, my sincerity and 15 plus years of provable action made me qualified to be a Sister who you can count on to inform, inspire and empower our people and our youth then why on earth would you continue to rock with me? The confident belief that you CAN, and the actions that prove you DO, are what will propel you. But it starts with YOU.
So as we navigate through yet another year let’s look back on our lives without fear. We are stronger. I feel like Rocky running up those steps as I type this. Who’s to say we won’t stumble or maybe even fall along the way? The true testament is how we bounce back. If you are alive and reading this then guess what, you have bounced back! So give yourself credit and start working on those goals. We can knock them down one at a time. I believe in myself and I believe in you!
“Life, I wonder, will it take me under?” The answer is NO! Happy New Year Friends.
Ok if you know me or if you’re familiar with my writing then you know I ampretty darn optimistic when it comes to Black male/female relationships. I’m not one of the bitter ones. I’m not angry. I see the cup as half full and all that good stuff. I love Black men and I’ve been a strong proponent of the idea that we have more in common than we have differences. However, after actually analyzing the recent turn of events that have occurred between me and the brothers I’m beginning to ponder over this whole Venus/Mars theory and whether or not it holds more truth than I suspected.
Here’s the deal. I don’t get it fellas. I don’t know what you’re thinking. I have no clue as to why you do the things you do and why you respond to me in such mind-boggling manners. I have to admit that my girlfriends and I have shared quite a few simultaneous, head scratches, head shakes, what in the worlds and uncontrollable laughter as we discuss our suitors and pseudo-suitors. For brevity’s sake I will narrow the Millennium Men(who I encounter) down to two types. There’s the “Zero to 60”
brother a.ka. “Dr. Thirst” a.ka. “Mr. Ready to Pounce”. This is the guy who puts it all out there on first interaction. He has already mapped out our future and filled his Android calendar with all the outings of our new life together after one encounter. There are less extreme variations of this as well. He may not have already planned our wedding but say I just met him at the grocery and the first time he calls or texts he goes straight for the kill. There is no conversation. No laughter. No jokes. Just a lot of talk about what he thinks of me. The specific jargon varies depending on the type of brother. Conscious, rough around the edges, highly ed-u-ma-ca-ted, maaan it gets deep. But there lies the problem. Within my first 24 hours of talking to you it doesn’t need to get that deep. Please do not think men are excused from exhibiting the type of behavior that will make the opposite sex run the other way. I am quick on my feet and when I feel smothered, especially by someone whose middle name I don’t even know, I will do an Allyson Felix on you real fast. #watchmysmoke
Then there’s type #2. Let’s call him the Undecided or Scared to Make a Move brother. These guys pursue you as well but only short of asking you to go out. I know you may be thinking, hey Clever, it’s 2012. You seem pretty “liberated”. Why don’t you just ask him? Aaaah, but there is a reason my friends. There are actually several. I mean what if he’s crazy? What if I end up not enjoying myself and why in the sam hill would I want to spend time with a man who is too afraid to ask me to hang out? Yuck. See at least if he asks me then I won’t feel I brought the potential craziness upon myself. But most of all I’m still kind of old-school. I believe I should be pursued. Notice I didn’t say chased because if you’re chasing something it is running away from you. Brothers, if you throw the line out there and she doesn’t bite back you are chasing, not pursuing. If you continue to do that then you are the third type of guy who again for brevity’s sake I choose not discuss but we’ll just call him Mr. Worrisome as Hail. Anyway, you will not believe how many dates that never happened I’ve been on this year. Lol. Some of these guys are still fishing too. But it’s never gonna happen. The hinting at a date texts have now become a new source of humor for me.
So I don’t know where I fit within this conundrum. Some women may like the 0 to 60 action but I’m a happily single woman. I am not praying for a husband every night. No offense whatsoever to the sisters who are. I can dig it but this is MY venting piece and I don’t like when people come on too strongly and I don’t like indecisive men who appear to be so afraid of rejection that they fish around for me to ask them out. You should see the face I’m making right now. It’s a date not a marriage proposal. Geez. You know, I wake up happy in the morning and I go to bed feeling the same. So anybody coming into my mix right now needs to be someone whose I company I can enjoy and have lots of fun with. People have made it seem like that’s a bad word—fun. But I am single with no children and it’s how I feel. I get that relationships take effort and all that jazz but in the first 48 do I have to feel like I’m working hard with you? Of course I have standards. Of course there are things I will not accept but if a guy makes it past that initial, and I mean preliminary screening, all I am looking to do is enjoy the time. It seems the men now are thinking it through way too hard. Let’s just have a nice time. If you’re familiar with what I do then you know it gets real intense at times but at least I’m dealing with trying to bring about major change. Meeting up to hang out aint even that deep bruh. They are all so serious and I just want to have fun! If fun leads to someone becoming a regular part of my life then…cool. But when did it become this difficult? What part of the game is this? It seems to be all about extremes now. What happened to middle ground? Where is the middle ground guy who is unattached and has no agenda beyond laughing with me and is open to all that may or may not happen beyond there? I think I’m a pretty smart woman but as of now I need an interpreter because apparently I have no clue how to speak “man”!
I’m truly over all the negativity that is put on Black father’s. Rather than repeat the statistics or even take the time to refute them, I’m going to focus on the positive and on much of what I see and have experienced first-hand. Like to hear it? Well here it go! Happy Father Day to the brothers…
Join me and a distinguished panel of Black fathers including special guest DJ Bee of 103 Jamz as we discuss fatherhood in the Black community live on Ustream! The conversation goes down this Thursday, June 14, at 9pm. Yes, that is tonight. You will be able to type in questions to us as we discuss stereotypes, trials, triumphs and many other aspects of this important topic. You definitely don’t want to miss what the brothers have to say. It’s their turn to be heard.You can find further information in the video and my Ustream link is listed below. You can view it there or right here on cleverspeaks.com. Please be sure to share, tweet and forward this event to your family and friends!
Set your reminder for the event at the link below.
t’s just like me to write a New Year blog on January 29th. The Aquarian desire for freedom to move at my own pace always reigns supreme. Besides, this year is nowhere near old and you probably didn’t feel like reading the thousands of “It’s 2013” blogs on January 1st so I’m actually right on time. I’m working on my wordiness so I’m going to try to get straight to the point here. Now that I have experienced over three decades of “new beginnings” I want to reflect on what that time has meant for me. Pardon me if I hit you with a few clichés. I hate clichés but man, some of them became undeniably real to me within the last few years.
t’s just like me to write a New Year blog on January 29th. The Aquarian desire for freedom to move at my own pace always reigns supreme. Besides, this year is nowhere near old and you probably didn’t feel like reading the thousands of “It’s 2013” blogs on January 1st so I’m actually right on time. I’m working on my wordiness so I’m going to try to get straight to the point here. Now that I have experienced over three decades of “new beginnings” I want to reflect on what that time has meant for me. Pardon me if I hit you with a few clichés. I hate clichés but man, some of them became undeniably real to me within the last few years.
